do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
