I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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