Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
