Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Girls should come with a carfax report
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
did i walk over a car last night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
