A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
