Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
