Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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