Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
