You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
