Say something about gay babies.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
