Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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