How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm like, not good at living.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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