Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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