Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
