got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
