Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am in a vortex of obligation.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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