The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
