I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
