Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
