genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I understand Curling. That high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
