the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize