I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
