I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
