question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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