Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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