I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
