Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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