Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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