She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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