Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
