im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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