I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
