We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
