There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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