The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
