what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
