He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
