On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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