his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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