I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
