We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
try to milk me bitch
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
