Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
