with your own penis?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
