When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
