if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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