idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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