You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
