So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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