What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
