so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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